What to Expect in Your first couples therapy session

Starting couples therapy can feel like a big step — and it is. It’s a decision that shows courage, care, and a willingness to invest in your relationship. But if you're feeling nervous about what to expect in your first session, you’re not alone. Many couples come in unsure of how it will go — and that’s completely normal.

Here’s a little guide to help ease your mind and help you feel more prepared.

1. First, It's a Safe Space for Both of You

Your therapist’s role is to create a space where both partners feel heard, respected, and understood. It's not about taking sides or labeling one person as “the problem.” It’s about working together to better understand the patterns, emotions, and challenges you’re facing as a team.

Think of it as a partnership — you, your partner, and the therapist working together to create change.

2. Expect to Talk About Your Story

During your first session, your therapist will likely ask about:

• How you met

• Highlights of your relationship

• What brings you to therapy now

• Any recent or ongoing challenges

It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Sharing your story helps the therapist understand your unique connection and where you might be feeling stuck.

3. Setting Goals Together

Early on, you'll be encouraged to talk about what you hope to get out of therapy.
Maybe you want to improve communication, rebuild trust, feel more connected, or navigate a life transition together.

Setting goals helps guide the process, so your sessions are focused and meaningful.

4. It Might Feel a Little Awkward at First — and That’s Okay

Opening up in front of a new person (and even each other) can feel strange at first. You might stumble over words, feel emotional, or even feel unsure of what to say.

That's completely normal. Your therapist understands and will help you both feel more comfortable as you go.

5. You’ll Start Learning New Tools Right Away

Many therapists will begin introducing small tools or perspectives even in the first session.
This might be:

• A way to pause and listen better

• A technique for calming conflict

• A simple way to show appreciation more often

These small steps can quickly build hope and momentum.

Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling anxious about your first couples therapy session, you’re already showing up with the kind of courage that builds stronger relationships.

The goal isn't perfection — it’s connection.
And every big change begins with small steps.

You’re well on your way!